You can’t Plan For The Pressure…
There has probably never been before a time when there has been so much exceptional pressure placed on couples when they are planning their “perfect day”. Trying hard to be all things to all people, always hearing voices that are louder than your own.
Knowing in your heart, that when you decided on forever, when you found your very own love story, the hashtag you would use on the day was the furthest thing from your mind … or heart!
When something is your choice; when you are doing it for you, understanding why you feel so giddy, lost and low is tangling! You can’t find the end of the rope to sort yourself out; because the colour of the bows, the dietary requirements and where Gran will sit all seem to take over!
That is unless we stop – for just one minute – and own the moment!
We thought today would be the perfect day to talk weddings and mental well-being. It is after all #weddingwednesday during #mentalhealthawarnessweek!
Just like our physical health, we can have ‘good mental health’ days and we can have ‘poor mental health’ days – and neither last forever.
We have to take care of ourselves and be mindful of every moment, especially during times of pressure. Many couples I know say that it took someone to actually remind them of why they were getting married, to allow them to take a breath.
The flippant language used like: ‘bridezilla’ and ‘wedding mad’ really aren’t helpful…
People are not their behaviours; but their behaviours are often the outcome of how they feel in all the places we can’t see. Like their soul, their minds and their hearts.
Our ability to cope with pressure, when we want something to be the very best it can be because we won’t be doing it again, gives a certain kind of weight like not much else.
First there’s the planning pressure; the where and when – who’s family wins! The financial pressure; how do we set a budget – where do we get the budget! The family politics; who’s in the wedding party and who isn’t – the fallout of any decision! The food, the wine, the hashtag, the photographer, the flowers, the first dance…evenings don’t feel long enough for all the thinking and planning there is to be done.
People have a certain kind of expectation that because you have chosen to say ‘I do’; because you have found ’the one’ – everything else is smooth sailing. That it’s’just a day’ and that all that matters is love. So then that makes you feel even more guilty! You ask yourself why are you finding it so hard. Why is all the confrontation and difficult conversations making you feel so emotional? And how come it is so impossible to please everyone?
It’s OK to wobble…
There really isn’t another life event or occasion that has so much judgement and expectation. The unexpected and unprecedented pressure on our minds, on our body and our soul is overwhelming at times.
Self-care means giving yourself permission to pause. To be more than the planner of your wedding day. It’s about understanding that time you enjoy wasting – ISN’T wasted time. It’s odd, during times of stress or when we have pressure on our shoulders, those are the times we seem to drop the things we actually enjoy – to make more time for the things we don’t!
So amidst the planning and the preparing we need to remind ourselves every day; that we in this moment matter.
By giving ourselves this time, this care will give our wellbeing a boost. After all, you are about to start the biggest adventure and chapter of your life; you have to make sure your tank is full to be ready for the ride of your life.
For more information on Mental Health Awareness Week, visit their website and get involved, inspired and engaged.